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CITY BUYS 10 NEW "SUPER" GRASS CUTTERS AT $100,000 EACH
THE CITY OF HARLINGEN HAS CREATED A NEW CODE ENFORCEMENT LAW THAT TAKES EFFECT ON AUGUST 1, 2011. THE LAW WILL FINE EACH HOMEOWNER ABOUT $130 IF THEY DO NOT CUT THEIR GRASS ON TIME. "IF YOU LET YOUR GRASS GET HIGHER THAN 12 INCHES TALL YOU WILL BE FINED BY THE CITY AND THEY WILL SEND SOMEONE OUT TO CUT YOUR GRASS," EXCLAIMED LOBO, A PASSERBY. ONE HUNDRED BROWN SHIRTED CODE RANGERS HAVE BEEN HIRED BY THE CITY AT $12.00 PER HOUR FOR 40 HOURS PER WEEK AND WILL BE SCOURING THE CITY NEIGHBORHOODS WITH 12 INCH LONG PLASTIC RULERS AND CELL PHONES READY TO REPORT ANY VIOLATORS. "WE FIGURE THIS PROGRAM WILL COST US ONLY ABOUT $48,000 PER WEEK TO ADMINISTER," STATED BOB WINKLEMANOCHEVITZ, CHIEF CODE RANGER. "DO THE MATH, DAMIT" SAID ONE CITY COMMISSIONER. "IF WE CUT 30,769 LAWNS THIS YEAR AT $130 PER LAWN WE WILL RETIRE THE $4,000,000 BUDGET DEFICIT THAT WE HAVE CREATED WITH OUR RECKLESS SPENDING AND BAD JUDGEMENT," THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!"HARLINGEN CODE RANGERS-EVER READY TO MEASURE UP!"
"HONORABLE BOB WINKLEMANOCHEVITZ, CHIEF CODE RANGER"
"CUT YOUR GRASS OR WE WILL!"
"HONORABLE RUBIO JOEDEO, ASST. CHIEF CODE RANGER"
"DON'T WORRY MR. WINKLEMANOCHEVITZ, WE WILL FIND THOSE NO GOOD ANTI-LAWN CUTTING BASTARDS AND ROOT THEM OUT ONE BY ONE! THERE IS NO PLACE THEY CAN HIDE. IT'S FOR THE GOOD OF THE CITY, THE FATHERLAND, AND THE WORLD. AND BESIDES, IT WILL REDUCE THE DAMN DEFICIT," SAID MR. RUBIO JOEDEO, ASST. CHIEF CODE RANGER.
"LOBO"
"I DON'T THINK THERE ARE 30,769 LAWNS IN ALL OF CAMERON COUNTY," SAID LOBO, A PASSERBY!
"LOBO"
"I DON'T THINK THERE ARE 30,769 LAWNS IN ALL OF CAMERON COUNTY," SAID LOBO, A PASSERBY!
3 comments:
Question? It cost the City $130.00 to cut a lawn in the City of Harlingen??? No wonder they created a lawn enforcement ranger group??? Is it cheaper to have grown men driving around looking for untreated lawns??? What about the benefits for having a full time job, vehicle maintenance and gas??? What does that come out to compared to the $130.00 it cost the City to cut such lawns??? Sounds like it is a lot cheaper to pay this amount then paying the ranger group??? If the City can't collect on the lawns that they cut, then place liens and file suit on the owners??? This sounds like better business sense???
How do we sign up to become a code ranger, I need a job bad?
Seriously have u all seen the grass by the TX Tourist Bureau? About 18" high! How about M St & Tyler? Farrisville needs a trimming? Fucking city can't cut their grass but they want to fuck the poor people who are struggling to make ends meet. Only in Harlingen! The City says anything over 12 inches is a violation while in Brownsville they allow 18 inches. You guessed it right folks! Harlingen code enforcement rangers want to see little dicks before they issue citations for the 6 inch advantage of Brownsville.
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